You know what really grinds my gears? Typing a question into google and getting the answer to the exact opposite question. If I wanted to lose weight I would have asked how to lose weight.
Initially going to write about how to gain weight, or for those losing it how not to do so too fast. Yes some people have problems such as these, and yes they are dangerous. Though that is not what this blog piece is going to be about. In my search for valid research articles I fell upon none other than Cosmopolitans online magazine article: How to Keep Off Post-Wedding Pudge – (Byline) Many women gain major pounds in their first year as a wife. That added flab can put a strain on your sexuality… and your relationship.
The whole article was a joke, and not in a look at me I’m telling a funny kind of way. This was a I am serious you should jump off a bridge (feel 10 pounds lighter!) kind of way. I had to write about this.
According to a Cosmopolitan article, uploaded from their magazine no doubt, women gain their most weight right after getting married. They do this because either they went pre-wedding weight loss boot camp to fit into a smaller dress for their future husby, and have now gone back to regular meals, or they start acting like a married woman. That is, eating the same meals and desserts and snacks as her husband. Eating the same portions as her husband. Cosmo warns its women readers if you gain weight after you get married, men will think you don’t care about them anymore, so you must keep your weight down or your husband will believe you don’t love him anymore.
The hell Cosmo.
To lose and keep the weight off, Cosmo suggests:
Ordering first at restaurants. I assume this does not mean order my meal first, have mine, then let him order his. So I guess they are suggesting that when men order, they order something fattening, and then the woman decides to splurge too. Not like husby is worried about his weight post marriage. We women are too heavily influenced by our mans eating habits. I’d love to see the statistics on this, then see about who conducted the study? Who funded it? What was their sample size? Which countries did they cover? Women who order first are more likely to order something less fattening, because their man will order something fattening and influence them. I have never, in my life, decided what I’m ordering after any of my male friends or any boyfriend has ordered. I look at that menu, I decide what appeals to me most, I announce that I know what I want and ask if everyone else is ready to order. Who waits till others have ordered to decide what they’re ordering, who I ask you? I’ve never seen this happen before in my life. Do you do this? Does anyone do this?
Now for either making your portions smaller, or have different foods. Now I don’t know about you, but unless my future husby is willing to cook two completely different meals to cater to my personal tastes on his turns to cook (which will be every second day), that ‘aint happening. As for smaller sizes, why should I? Why would I minimise my portions? I’ll put on my plate the portion of my desire. If there is any left when I am done, I will put it in the freezer for later. If I am still hungry, I will grab some more and chow down until I feel done. My portion size is none of anyone elses business.
Want to know how to really lose some weight after getting married? Don’t care what he or anyone else thinks about your choice of diet and portion size, immediately feel a weight remove itself from your mind and shoulders. It’ll feel amazing. You won’t know how happy you could be until you lose those particular extra pounds holding you down. Or you could divorce him, that’s probably at least 70kgs shaved off right there.
Well I guess cosmo gave me my answer though. I have to get married. Get some weight on these bones. Any takers?
To Male Order Husbands,
P.S. I hate you cosmopolitan magazine. I hate you with the power of a thousand suns.
P.S.S. Holy crap! Looking at male order husbys and the hate on women who would do so and all other women too whilst their at it is phenominal. Men, get your sh*t together.
If you really want a women, maybe you should become someone who deserves one. Check what these girls are saying they’re missing from guys like you (read: respect, love, compassion, to name a few), then see if maybe you need to work on yourself instead of leaving nasty comments about the place. Or order yourself a mail order wife. She will need to stay with you a few years to become entitled to stay in your country and half your moolah, so you know she’ll
be stuck with your ass stick around a few years.